A Compilation of 'Meh' Thoughts

I woke up just before 8am today, which is ridiculous for me. It's nearly 10 now, so I think I'm going to awaken my boyfriend soon. I wish I had some syrup for my waffles...

I feel like maybe I'm just avoiding my life? Does that make any sense? And for Pete's sake I just want my car back. There's a topic: my car.

So I have bought three $90+ parts for my car including a battery, an alternator, and a module (that's nearly $300 already on a twenty-year-old car). While replacing the module has helped (kinda/sorta) my car still dies after running for short periods of time. So I'm borrowing Blake's car ALWAYS to go to school, and I'm sitting around and playing video games and NOT running errands because god knows how I hate being dependent on his car. And what's even worse is that my mom thinks that since I use his car to go to school I can use his car to run all of her errands that I normally do in my own car. Well I'm not doing it anymore. I hate her for her dependency on me. Every favor that she needs me to do because she cannot do it herself drives me further away from her. It makes me not want to see her, or my sister that now lives with her, or her sister that now lives with her. It makes me not want to answer the phone for her and it makes me feel guilty about it too. I wouldn't mind so much if it was just doing her favors, but she NEEDS me to do them because she won't get a driver's license and she won't save her money for a car and she won't learn the bus system and she's making me crazy.

I want my car back. I want my independence back. And I want everybody's money back. I want to spend today with my boyfriend because it's his one day off that I have off too, but we have spent the whole week together because I have been in constant need of his car. So I feel obligated to go home and leave him the fuck alone. But I don't want to. That would leave me car-less and he has no cell phone at the moment.

Shit in one hand and wish in the other, right?

I'm making waffles. Boring ones.

I'm not ending this blog on a sour note though. I went to PetCo yesterday to visit the kitties and there was an organization there with adoptable cats and dogs called Rescued Paws. I got a volunteer application and I should start volunteering by next weekend. I've been looking for something important to do with my time, and I think that this would be a good thing for me. I need more structure in my life.